The Scoop on Poop

Obviously, I haven't been as committed to dieting as I intended. I haven't been running. I haven't been flipping my skinny switch. And now I'm looking into diets involving wine. Something has gone terribly wrong. Obviously lacking a certain motivation.

On the way in to work this morning, I heard a commercial for something called the EverCleanse. It said something about 5 to 25 pounds of poop stuck to your colon like spackel. What the hell? If that doesn't want to make you put down that bagel with cream cheese, what does? The idea of cleansing myself sounds appealing, (cleanse my soul, cleanse my colon...) whether I lose weight or not. But, what are the ground rules for this product? Are they something like this...

1. Don't wear white pants while "cleansing."
2. Make sure the bathroom near your office is unlocked and always available for you.
3. Don't trust a fart.
4. For best results, just stay home, on the toilet, for the next two weeks.

With this type of plan, you'll lose weight just because you can't make it to the fridge without having to run back to the toilet. You'll never get a chance to eat!!

This may be one plan I don't look into for you. I like it when I have control over my bowel movements. I'll have to keep searching. Until then, I'll keep being chubby in a good way...